30 years ago WWE had a show that existed.
1/22/94
Providence, RI
Commentary: Vince McMahon and Ted Dibiase
Tatanka v Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon)
Bammer is replacing an injured Ludvig Borga. This wasn’t too shabby and the crowd was feeling it all the way through. I forgot how over Tatanka was for a while. 1-1
Winner: Tatanka with a crossbody.
* We recap the Hart brothers issues leading to tonight’s match.
* Todd Pettengill interviews Bret and Owen. They are going to win the tag titles. Neat.
WWE Tag Team Championship: (C)The Quebecers (w/Johnny Polo) v Bret/Owen Hart
Owen was really overdoing the babyface act on the way to the ring. Bret couldn’t even be bothered to wear matching gear tonight. What a jerk. This was a hell of a tag match even though Bret apparently forgot how to share the limelight and cost his brother the match. Dick. 2-2
Winner: The Champs retain when Bret can’t continue.
* Owen gives Bret the business after the match and takes his knee out. Good. Then Bret lays in the ring like a baby for twenty minutes while everyone coddles his ass. Sad.
* Oh btw? Ted Dibiase is AWFUL on commentary. Like, ME bad. Anywho.
* Todd is with Owen. Owen is mad and explained why he kicked his leg out of his leg. Poor guy.
* Gorilla and JR take over on commentary. Thank Jeebus.
Intercontinental Championship: IRS v (C) Razor Ramon
Razor’s gear was beautiful. This match? Eh. It was perfectly entertaining when Razor was in command but IRS was one of the least exciting wrestlers ever. Even a false finish and Shawn Michaels run in couldn’t make this one interesting. Old Mike Rotunda had some great matches, but not one of them was in a tie. 2-3
Winner: Razor with a Razor’s Edge.
* We recap the Undertaker and Yokozuna beef.
WWE Championship/Casket Match: (C) Yokozuna (w/Fuji and Cornette) v Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)
This starts out as a pretty good brawl. Then Yokozuna lands in the casket which leads to 326 people interfering on his side. Technically it was perfectly legal so whatever. Y’all are gonna call me crazy but the match wasn’t as terrible as people say. 3-4
Winner: Yokozuna retains with a little help from his friends.
* Okay so NOW is where the garbage begins. The Undertaker somehow does a live stream FROM THE COFFIN and rises to the heavens. This was some next level bullshit.
* We get some terrible Rumble interviews from a bunch of competitors.
Royal Rumble
We get people every 90 seconds this year. Brought to you by Casio! Having the Steiners being two of the first three should terrify everyone else. Nothing really good happens until Diesel arrives and murders everyone. Backstage Luger is attacked by every Japanese wrestler on the card. That’s what he gets. Diesel keeps killing fools until Macho Man shows up like a psychopath. He did his best but it wasn’t his year. Heels dominate the ring for a while. Mable arrives to set up the Summer Slam 95 main event. Shawn arrives and screws over his buddy Diesel. Big Diesel chant on the way out. I don’t care until Greg Valentine arrives because it’s Greg Valentine. Although seeing Great Kabuki on a WWE ppv twice in one show is awesome too. Finally Luger arrives from the dead and we have a potential winner. Tenryu arrives to take out Lex which is a fun visual. Welp back to being bored. Wait. Bret shows up to a good pop. Selling the crap out of that leg as well. The fans lose their shit when Marty Jannetty arrives to attack Shawn. Way too many people still in this though. Adam Bomb is number 30. Too many people in the ring, a garbage ending and very little star power has ruined this for me. 3-5
Winners: Bret and Lex both win although Bret definitely won the popularity contest. You know it’s bad if Jack Tunney shows up.
Overall: 3-5 Other than the garbage ending and the Undertaker floating fiasco this was completely and totally forgettable. I’ll never watch it again to change my mind.
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